Dress Code Reverts Back to Victorian Era
By Melissa Silva and Caroline Gee
On April 1, 2016, school administration established a new dress code requiring students to cover up completely, from neck to toe. Dubbed the “Victorian Dress Code”, the new dress requirement comes with many restrictions. For example, all must wear at least five meters, or 5.468 yards for you Americans, of frills. For men, cravats are highly encouraged.
Victorian’s Secret, a chain retailer coming soon to Main Street, will be providing appropriate attire to fit the needs of all students. Corsets, decorative frills, and bonnets will be available for purchase in various shades of pink. As an added note, the store will be in need of employees and models, so students should submit applications by March 31, 2016. Guest speaker Karlie Kloss will be present at the grand opening to model the new crinoline line.
The heavy hoop skirts and busty tops will most likely improve waist and abdominal muscles of students, thus ending the PE program’s relevancy in this school. With the money saved from ending this program, the school will be able to donate plentiful money to Fashion Club, which will be modeling the new attire during lunch on March 29, 2016.
School administrator Mr. Right commented, “We’ve just been seeing too much ankle lately. These young men and women should be more modest and aware of their knobby ankles.”
Violation of the new dress code will result in harsh consequences. Said Right, “We’ll try to be pretty lenient in terms of ankle restrictions while students adjust to the new dress code, and we’ll keep in mind the approaching summer. One or two centimeters of ankle showing -- that’s fine. 2.2 centimeters, though? Immediate expulsion, no questions asked.”
Student Mary Elizabeth Victoria Catherine Florence Frances Gertrude Smith was ecstatic about this decision. Said Smith, “I’m so excited to finally be able to express myself freely without constraints!”
Smith will be featured as a fashionista by The Prospector. Keep an eye out for that article, which will be published on January 3, 2015.
Thumbnail Image Courtesy of Wikipedia.